You know, in secondary school, there were these kinds of students who dodged classes and hide in school’s bushes. They would be just talking, having fun—or doing whatever they did there.
The thing which I found strange was the pride they were showing to other students: “Look at us, we’re the cool kids who ditch classes!” Whaaaat?!! Seriously? Is this supposed to be cool? Or maybe I was just a little too nerdy. But, come on, look at these guys’ grades—not so cool compared to the “cool life” they were so proud of. And yet, somehow, they seemed completely convinced—as a group—that what they were doing was actually a good thing!!!
When you are with your peers, your group or your surrounding society there is always this power of the group which makes you collectively act or think as one—the same as to these kids who ditched classes (together they thought this was okay). Still, even if we do not stick to these extreme examples there are other forms of group thinking which both of us, we can agree they are good:
Sexual abuse is not tolerable: We all know this—it’s one of those things that isn’t up for debate.
You have to work hard to succeed: Whether it’s grinding for exams or putting in the effort to get better at something, this is one of those norms that actually pushes you in the right direction.
Helping others: Ever been in a group where everyone’s hyped to help someone in need? Like raising money for a classmate. That’s group thinking at its best.
Being part of a peer group influences how we think, act, and even what we believe to be “right.” When you’re in a group, there’s this shared way of seeing the world, like a collective lens you all wear. And the crazy part? It’s hard to notice how much that lens affects you until you step outside of it.
But here’s the funny part: most of us are terrified of stepping outside—if we end up finding this group norm is not cool anymore—we can’t even point out something which is dumb as we’re afraid of being labeled “different,” or worse, being isolated. So, we blend in. We adapt to the group’s norms, even when we don’t agree with them. Over time, we stop questioning them altogether.
And that’s the danger. When you suppress your doubts long enough, you lose the ability to see what’s wrong. You stop asking, “Why are we doing this?” and just accept things as they are.
College: The Playground of Peer Norms
In college, this groupthink gets even bigger. The range of “cool” behaviors and “accepted truths” expands. Everyone knows what’s considered trendy or normal—whether it’s how to spend your weekends, how much effort to put into your studies, or how to approach life in general.
If you dare to go against this, people might see you as outdated or “too serious.” And even if you think something is outright stupid, it’s hard to step away because of that same fear: “What if they judge me?” So, the cycle continues, and the group’s shared beliefs become the truth.
There’s a cost to this kind of thinking, especially in college: you miss opportunities. Opportunities that could shape your future, open doors, or even change your life entirely. Let me highlight a few examples:
“You’re so bookish for going to the professor’s office hours.”
“Why study all the time? Chill, man!”
“Don’t waste time on clubs or projects; they’re pointless.”
When you hear these things enough, they start to feel true. But are they? Or are they just the group’s collective view, shaped by fear, laziness, or a lack of curiosity?
What If There’s Another Perspective?
Here’s what I think: maybe the things we see as “impossible” or “difficult” in life aren’t actually that way. Maybe it’s just the lens we’ve been given by our peers or society. What if there’s another way of seeing things? What if we could break free from the common knowledge we share and discover paths we’ve been blind to?
The truth is, we can. But it requires us to question. To step outside the bubble of social norms, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means exposing ourselves to new ideas, challenging widely held beliefs, and being willing to stand out—even if it’s scary.
So, let’s not let the norms of our peers or society crowd our vision. Let’s not just accept what’s handed to us as “truth.” Let’s question. Let’s explore. Because who knows? Maybe in questioning, we’ll find something valuable—something that could transform our lives in ways we never imagined.
#moreExposure #buildUpSkills #TryOutThings
